Friday, December 11, 2009

My Daughter

My oldest daughter turned 8 yesterday. Maybe its the hormones but I have found myself really reflecting on the last 8 years. Who I am today, who I was then, how she has changed my life in all ways.

We were told 2 months before she was conceived that I had a very low chance of getting pregnant, and since I had such a complicated case aka-they really couldn't tell me what was wrong with me-I was limited in the kind of treatments that I could have to become pregnant. It was a devastating blow to Patrick and I. The months of tests, treatments and studies they performed on me, seemed futile, we were both exhausted. Then magically I was pregnant. It was so surreal we just couldn't believe it. A blessing like nothing else I have ever experienced.

Our first pregnancy was a really hard one. I was really sick for most of it, went into labor 8 weeks early, on bedrest for the last 5 weeks. I had 3 different due dates, I was in prelabor for 3 weeks, absolute craziness! Then at 9pm on a cold December night, she was here. Emilia Jesseca. My husband and I often remarked over those first few weeks how what was important and worry last week really meant nothing after she was born. Its still true. What mattered and was important 8 years ago really doesn't register any more.

Millie was the reason we had more children. She was a great baby, she was a great toddler and she proved to be an even better big sister. She teaches me new things every day. Most importantly she has taught me how to be a better person. She is like her Dad, (always has been a Daddys Girl) she is kind, compassionate and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. What a super power that is. I find myself wanting to be as wonderful to people as my daughter is or at very least setting a good example so that she knows that she is doing the right thing and making the right decisions even when people are not being as kind to her.

I am more of a protector now then I was before. I have always been a very protective person, of the people that I am closest to, but this has become much more intense. I am very protective of my family. I now know what it feels like to be a "Mama Bear". It makes it hard to mask ones emotions when one hears of injustice being done to her little girl!

I am really lucky to have her as my daughter, I am really lucky to have her as my first born. She really is an enchanting a wonderful girl, I can't wait to see what she does and what she is able to teach me in the next 8 years!

Happiness to you always.

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